Gay & Wasted
by Wongvhan
Summary: A conversation between Drunk!Dean & Castiel. Featuring Thirdwheel!Sam Winchester. A part of 'Gay Series' and this one is downright schmoop.


Sam was done with cheering on his brother and Castiel as a couple. Apparently, Dean had something else going on in his mind.

There wasn't even the sound of the Impala when Dean opened the door and fell forward into the motel room. Alert, Sam shot up from his seat and rushed to his brother just to find out that Dean was completely drunk.

"Dude." Sam reached down to Dean who clumsily sought for something to level himself up. "How much did you drink?" Sam scrunched his nose. To Dean, alcohol equaled multivitamins. Still, Sam's brother was reeked of booze and cigarette. It's surprising that he could found the way back to their motel, seriously.

"Enough." Dean took Sam's hand and pulled himself up. Instead of staying away or at least standing on his own feet, Dean leaned on Sam's shoulder and gave the man a big tight hug. "I had a rough day, Sammy."

Sam was even more disgusted with Dean at the moment and raised his hand faraway from Dean as much as possible. "Uh... Dean?"

"Hmm?"

"Get off me."

"Relaxxxx." Dean patted Sam's shoulder but still backed off. He spun slowly on the spot once. Twice. Before deciding to take his place at the foot of Sam's bed. "I don't understand." Dean said out of the blue. "I mean..."

Dean paused for a moment as if he was thinking something really hard but also forgot that thing. After a moment, Dean blinked as if the light has been switched on and said. "Why do people assume that I'm gay?"

Sam wanted to laughed but he's in a foul mood for that, so Dean kept on talking. "I mean, yeah, I told them I'm gay but that doesn't mean that I'm gay."

"Huh." Sam hugged his chest. "You told people that you're gay?"

"I'm not gay. But that was not the point!" Dean swept his hand and the issue aside.

"Then what is?" Despite knowing better than to talk with a drunk man, Sam's curiosity won.

Dean pouted and threw another tantrum. "Just because I'm gay. And I'm not gay. Doesn't mean that I want to stick my dick in every gay's ass."

Sam confused and calculated what he's just heard. "I sent you to investigate a murder. What do three bodies have to do with gay?"

To his credit, Dean looked like he was trying to sober up and grabbed the very last piece of his consciousness before he told the story about how he went there to investigate the crime and there was this one girl tried to hit on him so he said that he's gay. Then the next thing he knew was that the girl tried to set him up with her gay brother for some 'big boy fun' and Dean thought that the guy had no 'hidden agenda' so he's kinda went along and had a drink or two or twenty or whatever before finally Dean was invited to the guy's place.

"I'm not a homophobe, man. I'm not. But this guy was coming on to me so hard that I had to tell him..." Dean burped.

"You tell him what?"

"I told him...Jesus Christ, Sam. Don't stand there and looking like that. You're more gay than that guy!"

"You said you aren't a homophobe. That includes sexism, Dean."

"Bitch."

"Jerk. What did you tell him?"

"I told him... I'm spoken for."

Dean nodded to himself like he's approving his own decision. Sam didn't know either to laugh or to cry. Unfortunately, Dean looked at him and hissed.

"EWWWW Sam, you freak. You thought I told people that I got the hots for you?"

A-ha, figured. "So you told him you're with Castiel?"

"I didn't exactly say his name. All I said was that I'm in a relationship with this guy."

"But you had Cas in mind when you said it."

"The guy wasn't even half as pretty as Cas"

"You do know you just called Cas 'pretty'?"

"I'm drunk. Not Drew Barrymore"

"What does Drew Barrymore have to do with this?"

"That movie... with.. what's his name? The egghead"

"Adam Sandler"

"Yeah, Adam whatever"

Then Dean turned quiet. Too quiet.

Sam was alarmed because THAT was not how normal people sleep and he could not stand how Dean smelled right now.

"Hey, hey. No sleeping here." Sam pulled Dean up and dragged his brother's I'm-gay-and-not-gay ass to the bathroom. He practically shoved Dean into the shower (Hey, what was that for!?), threw in a towel, left his brother and shut the door.

Twenty minutes later, the shower was still running and Dean was asleep under it.

_'I'm 500% done'_ Sam thought to himself when he heard a familiar sound of wing fluttering in the room. Sam turned back and there he was. Castiel has materialized with his trench coat looking as dirty as always. Nevertheless, Sam was glad for his presence.

"Hello, Sam." Castiel nodded.

"Hey, Cas. If you want to see Dean, a little help here would be nice." Sam gestured to the bathroom and Castiel followed him inside. As expected, Castiel frowned at the sight of Dean almost drowning in a shower with his three layers of clothes on.

Castiel did not look any happier than Sam but he cradled Dean up into his arms and put him on the mattress. Sam almost stopped him but realized that Castiel had mojo-dried Dean already.

"Thanks, Cas." Sam said.

Castiel wiped his hands on a small towel. "You're welcome." He said gravely.

With the power Sam supposed was gay love, Dean woke up and was clutching the hem of Castiel's trench coat.

"Hey, fake husband"

Great. Dean was still completely drunk and now he's making a goo-goo eye Sam has never seen at Castiel.

"Hello, Dean."

To Sam's surprise, Castiel sat down beside Dean's pillow and covered Dean's hand with his. Sam didn't care if he might have a voyeurism at the moment. He just needed to see what would happen next.

Dean closed his eyes and leaned closer to Castiel's lap. "Today, a guy hit on me."

"Are you hurt, Dean?"

Dean chuckled softly and answered, "A guy wanted to get in my pants."

"Oh."

"Uh-huh"

Dean snuggled closer. "I told him that I'm seeing someone."

"Oh." Castiel looked deflated.

"I meant you, Angelcake."

"Ohhh..."

"I thought I'm the one who's drunk." Even half asleep - half drunk, Dean manged to smile. "Being your gay and wasted is nice." Dean's voice got drowsier and drowsier.

Castiel traced the line of Dean's hair softly. Sam didn't even think that Castiel remembered Sam in the room so, he crossed to the other side, grabbed his jacket and the Impala key, preparing to go out.

One last glance, Dean finally slid his head into Castiel's lap.

Sam shook his head. Dean was not gay for anyone but Castiel and Sam has totally seen it coming.


End file.
